2017 College Football Rankings #3

It’s always the weeks you don’t expect where the fun lies.  What looked like a sleepy weekend without any ranked v ranked games – and whaddya know?  Clemson, Washington, Washington State, Auburn all go down, with Michigan just dodging a bullet.  TCU registers another good road win to continue to amass the best resume in the country to date.  How does it all shake down rankings-wise?

W L Pts Scale SOS Rank
1 TCU 6 0 0.5517 1.000 0.5517 17
2 Alabama 7 0 0.5346 0.987 0.5346 23
3 Penn State 6 0 0.5116 0.970 0.5116 35
4 Miami-FL 5 0 0.5115 0.970 0.5115 36
5 Georgia 7 0 0.4809 0.947 0.4809 51
6 Wisconsin 6 0 0.4617 0.933 0.4617 57
7 Michigan State 5 1 0.4485 0.923 0.6152 4
8 Ohio State 6 1 0.4026 0.889 0.5454 21
9 Clemson 6 1 0.3984 0.886 0.5413 22
10 Michigan 5 1 0.3966 0.885 0.5632 14
11 USC 6 1 0.3813 0.873 0.5241 28
12 Oklahoma 5 1 0.3812 0.873 0.5479 18
13 Oklahoma State 5 1 0.3635 0.860 0.5302 25
14 Notre Dame 5 1 0.3566 0.855 0.5233 29
15 San Diego State 6 1 0.3390 0.842 0.4818 49
16 NC State 6 1 0.3298 0.835 0.4726 53
17 UCF 5 0 0.3242 0.831 0.3242 110
18 Navy 5 1 0.2842 0.801 0.4509 58
19 Washington 6 1 0.2779 0.797 0.4207 74
20 Washington State 6 1 0.2741 0.794 0.4170 76
21 Iowa 4 2 0.2404 0.769 0.5738 9
22 Virginia 5 1 0.2327 0.763 0.3994 88
23 Stanford 5 2 0.2314 0.762 0.5171 32
24 Kentucky 5 1 0.2247 0.757 0.3914 93
25 Memphis 5 1 0.2005 0.739 0.3672 100
26 Virginia Tech 5 1 0.1997 0.739 0.3664 101
27 South Carolina 5 2 0.1965 0.736 0.4822 47
28 Texas A&M 5 2 0.1963 0.736 0.4820 48
29 Toledo 5 1 0.1957 0.736 0.3624 102
30 Wake Forest 4 2 0.1799 0.724 0.5132 33
31 Florida State 2 3 0.1673 0.714 0.7673 1
32 Iowa State 4 2 0.1604 0.709 0.4937 39
33 LSU 5 2 0.1596 0.709 0.4453 59
34 Auburn 5 2 0.1531 0.704 0.4389 64
35 Mississippi State 4 2 0.1509 0.702 0.4842 45
36 Texas Tech 4 2 0.1480 0.700 0.4813 50
37 South Florida 6 0 0.1470 0.699 0.1470 131
38 Boise State 4 2 0.1470 0.699 0.4803 52
39 Maryland 3 3 0.1423 0.696 0.6423 2
40 North Texas 4 2 0.1087 0.671 0.4420 62
41 California 4 3 0.1027 0.666 0.5313 24
42 Houston 4 2 0.0998 0.664 0.4331 67
43 Arizona State 3 3 0.0989 0.664 0.5989 5
44 Fresno State 4 2 0.0986 0.663 0.4320 69
45 Utah 4 2 0.0914 0.658 0.4247 72
46 Marshall 5 1 0.0903 0.657 0.2570 124
47 Indiana 3 3 0.0790 0.649 0.5790 6
48 SMU 4 2 0.0788 0.649 0.4122 80
49 Northwestern 3 3 0.0766 0.647 0.5766 8
50 Colorado State 5 2 0.0761 0.647 0.3618 103
51 Northern Illinois 4 2 0.0707 0.643 0.4040 86
52 Purdue 3 3 0.0678 0.641 0.5678 11
53 Army 5 2 0.0662 0.639 0.3520 104
54 Texas 3 3 0.0644 0.638 0.5644 12
55 West Virginia 4 2 0.0634 0.637 0.3968 89
56 Troy 4 2 0.0632 0.637 0.3966 90
57 Duke 4 3 0.0616 0.636 0.4902 42
58 Oregon 4 3 0.0596 0.634 0.4882 43
59 Boston College 3 4 0.0559 0.632 0.6274 3
60 Louisville 4 3 0.0539 0.630 0.4825 46
61 Appalachian State 4 2 0.0424 0.622 0.3757 98
62 Ole Miss 3 3 0.0221 0.607 0.5221 30
63 Florida 3 3 0.0178 0.603 0.5178 31
64 Akron 4 3 0.0153 0.602 0.4439 60
65 Georgia Tech 3 2 0.0099 0.598 0.4099 81
66 Arizona 4 2 0.0045 0.594 0.3379 108
67 UCLA 3 3 -0.0042 0.587 0.4958 38
68 Wyoming 4 2 -0.0067 0.585 0.3266 109
69 Nebraska 3 4 -0.0079 0.584 0.5636 13
70 Syracuse 4 3 -0.0111 0.582 0.4175 75
71 Vanderbilt 3 4 -0.0128 0.581 0.5587 15
72 Western Michigan 4 3 -0.0152 0.579 0.4134 79
73 Minnesota 3 3 -0.0280 0.569 0.4720 54
74 FIU 4 2 -0.0339 0.565 0.2995 117
75 Tennessee 3 3 -0.0367 0.563 0.4633 56
76 Ohio 5 2 -0.0383 0.562 0.2474 125
77 Southern Miss 4 2 -0.0399 0.561 0.2935 118
78 Colorado 4 3 -0.0474 0.555 0.3812 97
79 Tulane 3 3 -0.0610 0.545 0.4390 63
80 UAB 4 2 -0.0762 0.534 0.2571 123
81 New Mexico 3 3 -0.0772 0.533 0.4228 73
82 Kansas State 3 3 -0.0836 0.528 0.4164 77
83 Arkansas 2 4 -0.0882 0.525 0.5785 7
84 Arkansas State 3 2 -0.1095 0.509 0.2905 119
85 Florida Atlantic 3 3 -0.1119 0.507 0.3881 95
86 UTSA 3 2 -0.1218 0.500 0.2782 121
87 Louisiana Tech 3 3 -0.1247 0.498 0.3753 99
88 Rutgers 2 4 -0.1579 0.473 0.5088 37
89 Georgia State 3 2 -0.1596 0.472 0.2404 126
90 Pittsburgh 2 5 -0.1624 0.470 0.5519 16
91 MTSU 3 4 -0.1636 0.469 0.4078 83
92 Buffalo 3 4 -0.1690 0.465 0.4025 87
93 Western Kentucky 4 2 -0.1755 0.460 0.1579 130
94 New Mexico State 3 4 -0.1801 0.456 0.3913 94
95 Air Force 2 4 -0.1820 0.455 0.4847 44
96 Utah State 3 4 -0.1841 0.453 0.3873 96
97 Cincinnati 2 5 -0.2014 0.441 0.5129 34
98 Tulsa 2 5 -0.2216 0.426 0.4927 40
99 South Alabama 2 4 -0.2243 0.424 0.4423 61
100 LA-Lafayette 3 3 -0.2257 0.423 0.2743 122
101 Central Michigan 3 4 -0.2290 0.420 0.3424 107
102 Illinois 2 4 -0.2315 0.418 0.4351 66
103 Kent State 2 5 -0.2454 0.408 0.4689 55
104 UNLV 2 4 -0.2582 0.398 0.4084 82
105 Eastern Michigan 2 4 -0.2592 0.398 0.4075 84
106 Missouri 1 5 -0.2616 0.396 0.5718 10
107 Temple 3 4 -0.2672 0.392 0.3042 116
108 LA-Monroe 3 3 -0.2807 0.382 0.2193 128
109 Hawaii 3 4 -0.2824 0.380 0.2891 120
110 Oregon State 1 6 -0.3107 0.359 0.5465 19
111 Old Dominion 2 4 -0.3171 0.355 0.3496 105
112 Ball State 2 4 -0.3209 0.352 0.3457 106
113 BYU 1 6 -0.3323 0.343 0.5249 26
114 North Carolina 1 6 -0.3328 0.343 0.5244 27
115 Connecticut 2 4 -0.3459 0.333 0.3208 113
116 Idaho 2 4 -0.3587 0.324 0.3080 115
117 Miami-OH 2 5 -0.3904 0.300 0.3239 111
118 Kansas 1 5 -0.4070 0.288 0.4263 71
119 Other 9 82 -0.4091 0.286 0.4920 41
120 Nevada 1 6 -0.4209 0.278 0.4363 65
121 Rice 1 5 -0.4391 0.264 0.3943 91
122 San Jose State 1 7 -0.4428 0.261 0.4322 68
123 East Carolina 1 6 -0.4501 0.256 0.4071 85
124 Baylor 0 6 -0.4544 0.253 0.5456 20
125 Bowling Green 1 6 -0.4645 0.245 0.3927 92
126 Texas State 1 6 -0.5343 0.193 0.3228 112
127 Georgia Southern 0 5 -0.5686 0.168 0.4314 70
128 UTEP 0 7 -0.5863 0.155 0.4137 78
129 Coastal Carolina 1 5 -0.6005 0.144 0.2328 127
130 Charlotte 0 7 -0.6852 0.081 0.3148 114
131 Massachusetts 0 6 -0.7947 0.000 0.2053 129

The bowl matchups if the season ended today? (with a little projection for mega-conferences)

  • The top 4 is simple.  TCU, Alabama, Penn State, Miami-FL
  • The other automatic bids include the Pac-12 leader (#11 USC) and the Group of Five rep (#17 Central Florida – San Diego State is higher ranked but not leading the Mountain West)
  • Orange Bowl is ACC vs Notre Dame, SEC or Big Ten.  Going by straight rankings Clemson vs Georgia
  • That leaves four more teams to place into bowls.  Wisconsin, Michigan State, Ohio State and Michigan are the four teams by ranking.  That said, it is unlikely all four teams joined Penn State here, we drop Michigan and promote Oklahoma here.
  • Using these matchups?
    • Sugar Bowl: TCU v Miami-FL
    • Rose Bowl: Alabama v Penn State
    • Orange Bowl: Clemson v Georgia
    • Fiesta Bowl: USC v Ohio State
    • Cotton Bowl: Michigan State v Oklahoma
    • Peach Bowl: Wisconsin v Central Florida
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2017 College Football Rankings #2

(Note: This does not include the results of Wednesday or Thursday’s Games)

 

Entering last week, defending champions Clemson had not had a huge test yet – or at least something which had that look by the model.  However, with Auburn and Louisville gaining strength and Clemson’s wipeout of Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, the Tigers are back where you’d expect them.  Meanwhile, Alabama keeps rolling – although it is still inconclusive as to whether they have beaten anybody good yet.  Last week’s #1 Central Florida, did nothing wrong – it’s just that teams passed them.  In particular, TCU – the other team with two high quality road scalps, ascends to the top.

W L Pts Scale SOS Rank
1 TCU 4 0 0.5720 1.000 0.5720 7
2 Clemson 5 0 0.5277 0.967 0.5277 17
3 Oklahoma 4 0 0.5212 0.962 0.5212 18
4 Michigan 4 0 0.5209 0.962 0.5209 19
5 Alabama 5 0 0.5189 0.960 0.5189 21
6 Georgia 5 0 0.5159 0.958 0.5159 22
7 San Diego State 5 0 0.4601 0.916 0.4601 41
8 Navy 4 0 0.4554 0.912 0.4554 47
9 UCF 3 0 0.4415 0.902 0.4415 56
10 Penn State 5 0 0.4270 0.891 0.4270 62
11 Miami-FL 3 0 0.3939 0.866 0.3939 83
12 Maryland 3 1 0.3806 0.856 0.6306 3
13 Washington 5 0 0.3759 0.853 0.3759 90
14 Ohio State 4 1 0.3644 0.844 0.5644 8
15 Oklahoma State 4 1 0.3588 0.840 0.5588 9
16 USC 4 1 0.3470 0.831 0.5470 10
17 Notre Dame 4 1 0.3449 0.830 0.5449 11
18 Wisconsin 4 0 0.3433 0.828 0.3433 99
19 Florida 3 1 0.2917 0.790 0.5417 13
20 Washington State 5 0 0.2917 0.790 0.2917 116
21 Wake Forest 4 1 0.2585 0.765 0.4585 43
22 Louisville 4 1 0.2581 0.764 0.4581 44
23 Utah 4 0 0.2546 0.762 0.2546 123
24 UTSA 3 0 0.2514 0.759 0.2514 124
25 Texas Tech 3 1 0.2473 0.756 0.4973 31
26 Michigan State 3 1 0.2328 0.746 0.4828 36
27 NC State 4 1 0.2308 0.744 0.4308 60
28 Duke 4 1 0.2127 0.730 0.4127 73
29 Oregon 4 1 0.2088 0.727 0.4088 76
30 Troy 4 1 0.1970 0.719 0.3970 79
31 SMU 4 1 0.1941 0.716 0.3941 82
32 Auburn 4 1 0.1804 0.706 0.3804 87
33 Kentucky 4 1 0.1776 0.704 0.3776 88
34 Iowa 3 2 0.1731 0.701 0.5731 6
35 Marshall 3 1 0.1728 0.700 0.4228 66
36 Memphis 3 1 0.1454 0.680 0.3954 81
37 South Florida 5 0 0.1419 0.677 0.1419 131
38 Virginia Tech 4 1 0.1344 0.672 0.3344 106
39 Houston 3 1 0.1340 0.671 0.3840 85
40 Texas A&M 4 1 0.1331 0.671 0.3331 107
41 Toledo 3 1 0.1266 0.666 0.3766 89
42 Minnesota 3 1 0.1202 0.661 0.3702 93
43 Indiana 2 2 0.1134 0.656 0.6134 4
44 Mississippi State 3 2 0.1111 0.654 0.5111 25
45 Florida State 1 2 0.1070 0.651 0.7736 1
46 Vanderbilt 3 2 0.0963 0.643 0.4963 34
47 Ohio 4 1 0.0934 0.641 0.2934 115
48 Virginia 3 1 0.0923 0.640 0.3423 100
49 Stanford 3 2 0.0813 0.632 0.4813 37
50 California 3 2 0.0797 0.631 0.4797 38
51 Nebraska 3 2 0.0595 0.615 0.4595 42
52 Tennessee 3 2 0.0490 0.608 0.4490 49
53 Georgia Tech 3 1 0.0471 0.606 0.2971 113
54 Texas 2 2 0.0448 0.604 0.5448 12
55 North Texas 3 2 0.0440 0.604 0.4440 52
56 FIU 3 1 0.0392 0.600 0.2892 117
57 UCLA 3 2 0.0372 0.599 0.4372 58
58 Boston College 2 3 0.0340 0.596 0.6340 2
59 South Carolina 3 2 0.0223 0.588 0.4223 67
60 Fresno State 2 2 0.0190 0.585 0.5190 20
61 Kansas State 3 1 0.0166 0.583 0.2666 120
62 Army 3 2 0.0134 0.581 0.4134 72
63 Colorado 3 2 0.0125 0.580 0.4125 74
64 Tulane 2 2 0.0106 0.579 0.5106 26
65 Western Michigan 3 2 0.0014 0.572 0.4014 77
66 Purdue 2 2 0.0012 0.572 0.5012 29
67 Buffalo 3 2 -0.0007 0.570 0.3993 78
68 Colorado State 3 2 -0.0039 0.568 0.3961 80
69 New Mexico 3 2 -0.0126 0.561 0.3874 84
70 West Virginia 3 1 -0.0150 0.560 0.2350 128
71 Utah State 3 2 -0.0169 0.558 0.3831 86
72 Arizona State 2 3 -0.0268 0.551 0.5732 5
73 Ole Miss 2 2 -0.0322 0.547 0.4678 39
74 Northern Illinois 2 2 -0.0376 0.543 0.4624 40
75 Arkansas 2 2 -0.0473 0.535 0.4527 48
76 Wyoming 3 2 -0.0499 0.533 0.3501 95
77 Boise State 2 2 -0.0516 0.532 0.4484 50
78 Louisiana Tech 3 2 -0.0538 0.530 0.3462 97
79 Appalachian State 2 2 -0.0581 0.527 0.4419 55
80 LSU 3 2 -0.0598 0.526 0.3402 102
81 Iowa State 2 2 -0.0673 0.520 0.4327 59
82 Northwestern 2 2 -0.0800 0.511 0.4200 68
83 Cincinnati 2 3 -0.0898 0.503 0.5102 27
84 Pittsburgh 2 3 -0.1035 0.493 0.4965 33
85 Illinois 2 2 -0.1257 0.476 0.3743 92
86 MTSU 2 3 -0.1529 0.456 0.4471 51
87 Eastern Michigan 2 2 -0.1541 0.455 0.3459 98
88 New Mexico State 2 3 -0.1564 0.453 0.4436 53
89 Florida Atlantic 2 3 -0.1572 0.453 0.4428 54
90 Idaho 2 2 -0.1607 0.450 0.3393 103
91 Arkansas State 1 2 -0.1699 0.443 0.4968 32
92 UNLV 2 2 -0.1719 0.442 0.3281 108
93 Miami-OH 2 3 -0.1751 0.439 0.4249 63
94 Temple 2 3 -0.1805 0.435 0.4195 69
95 Akron 2 3 -0.1859 0.431 0.4141 71
96 Old Dominion 2 2 -0.1983 0.422 0.3017 112
97 Southern Miss 2 2 -0.2295 0.399 0.2705 119
98 UAB 2 2 -0.2377 0.392 0.2623 122
99 Air Force 1 3 -0.2414 0.390 0.5086 28
100 Arizona 2 2 -0.2529 0.381 0.2471 125
101 Hawaii 2 3 -0.2535 0.381 0.3465 96
102 Oregon State 1 4 -0.2622 0.374 0.5378 14
103 Ball State 2 3 -0.2622 0.374 0.3378 104
104 Western Kentucky 2 2 -0.2622 0.374 0.2378 127
105 Central Michigan 2 3 -0.2623 0.374 0.3377 105
106 Rutgers 1 4 -0.2665 0.371 0.5335 15
107 Kent State 1 4 -0.2698 0.368 0.5302 16
108 LA-Monroe 2 2 -0.2703 0.368 0.2297 129
109 Syracuse 2 3 -0.2814 0.360 0.3186 110
110 Tulsa 1 4 -0.3112 0.337 0.4888 35
111 Missouri 1 3 -0.3268 0.326 0.4232 65
112 North Carolina 1 4 -0.3430 0.313 0.4570 46
113 BYU 1 4 -0.3753 0.289 0.4247 64
114 South Alabama 1 4 -0.3846 0.282 0.4154 70
115 Other 9 81 -0.3882 0.280 0.5118 24
116 Texas State 1 4 -0.3895 0.279 0.4105 75
117 Georgia State 1 2 -0.3901 0.278 0.2766 118
118 San Jose State 1 5 -0.3955 0.274 0.4379 57
119 Rice 1 4 -0.4245 0.252 0.3755 91
120 Connecticut 1 3 -0.4288 0.249 0.3212 109
121 LA-Lafayette 1 3 -0.4413 0.240 0.3087 111
122 East Carolina 1 4 -0.4594 0.226 0.3406 101
123 Kansas 1 3 -0.4841 0.208 0.2659 121
124 Georgia Southern 0 3 -0.4858 0.206 0.5142 23
125 Baylor 0 5 -0.4999 0.196 0.5001 30
126 UTEP 0 5 -0.5429 0.163 0.4571 45
127 Coastal Carolina 1 3 -0.5652 0.147 0.1848 130
128 Nevada 0 5 -0.5699 0.143 0.4301 61
129 Bowling Green 0 5 -0.6371 0.093 0.3629 94
130 Charlotte 0 5 -0.7040 0.043 0.2960 114
131 Massachusetts 0 6 -0.7607 0.000 0.2393 126

Given these rankings, and the reality of conference champions and such – who are the Final Four?

  • Well, let’s assume that you’d need a very good reason to pass over a conference champ – and four of the Top 5 are from different conferences – TCU, Clemson, Michigan and Alabama get the playoff slots.  We have a TCU/Alabama Sugar Bowl and a Clemson/Michigan Rose Bowl.
  • The Orange Bowl guarantees an ACC team – so Miami-FL is next team up.  They play either an SEC team, a Big Ten team or Notre Dame.  So Georgia goes here.
  • Washington gets the Pac-12’s automatic bid here, while San Diego State is the automatic Group of 5 rep.
  • The other 4 at-large positions?  Oklahoma, Navy, Penn State and Maryland.  It is unlikely Navy AND UCF would get spots since they are in the same conference and would end up playing each other at some point.
  • The Bowls if the season ended today?
    • SUGAR BOWL (National Semifinal): TCU vs Alabama
    • ROSE BOWL (National Semifinal): Clemson v Michigan
    • ORANGE BOWL: Miami-FL vs Georgia
    • COTTON BOWL: Oklahoma v Penn State
    • PEACH BOWL:  Maryland v Navy
    • FIESTA BOWL: Washington v San Diego State

2017 College Football Rankings #1

(Note: This does not include the results of yesterday’s 17-7 win by Texas at Iowa State)

Finally, after four weeks of football, and a lot of schedule reshuffling due to the devastating hurricanes in the South. (A list of ways to pitch in to help that horrific situation in Puerto Rico can be found here).  Among the more trivial results of this delay was a long time before each of the college teams played twice – thus allowing for a legitimate strength of schedule metric.  Of course, as we learn about the teams, the SoS numbers will get cleaner.  Here is a further explainer of the method.  So what does the first ranking hold for us?  Voila!

W L Pts Scale SOS Rank
1 UCF 2 0 0.5476 1.000 0.5476 7
2 Michigan 4 0 0.5460 0.999 0.5460 8
3 Oklahoma 4 0 0.5238 0.982 0.5238 14
4 TCU 4 0 0.5228 0.981 0.5228 15
5 Alabama 4 0 0.5172 0.977 0.5172 19
6 Georgia 4 0 0.5122 0.973 0.5122 20
7 San Diego State 4 0 0.5009 0.964 0.5009 26
8 USC 4 0 0.4997 0.963 0.4997 27
9 Navy 3 0 0.4790 0.948 0.4790 32
10 Clemson 4 0 0.4439 0.921 0.4439 47
11 Texas Tech 3 0 0.4329 0.912 0.4329 53
12 Washington 4 0 0.4282 0.909 0.4282 56
13 Wake Forest 4 0 0.4223 0.904 0.4223 60
14 Wisconsin 3 0 0.3871 0.877 0.3871 75
15 Penn State 4 0 0.3766 0.869 0.3766 81
16 Duke 4 0 0.3545 0.853 0.3545 89
17 UTSA 3 0 0.3233 0.829 0.3233 97
18 Ohio State 3 1 0.3068 0.816 0.5568 6
19 Utah 4 0 0.2979 0.809 0.2979 108
20 Minnesota 3 0 0.2938 0.806 0.2938 111
21 Louisville 3 1 0.2829 0.798 0.5329 10
22 Maryland 2 1 0.2746 0.792 0.6080 4
23 Notre Dame 3 1 0.2672 0.786 0.5172 18
24 Memphis 3 0 0.2440 0.768 0.2440 124
25 Florida 2 1 0.2418 0.766 0.5751 5
26 Miami-FL 2 0 0.2283 0.756 0.2283 126
27 Iowa 3 1 0.2241 0.753 0.4741 33
28 Virginia Tech 4 0 0.2224 0.752 0.2224 127
29 Oklahoma State 3 1 0.2107 0.743 0.4607 39
30 Mississippi State 3 1 0.2076 0.740 0.4576 40
31 South Florida 4 0 0.2037 0.737 0.2037 128
32 Washington State 4 0 0.2027 0.737 0.2027 129
33 California 3 1 0.1865 0.724 0.4365 50
34 SMU 3 1 0.1840 0.722 0.4340 52
35 Vanderbilt 3 1 0.1793 0.719 0.4293 54
36 Kentucky 3 1 0.1679 0.710 0.4179 64
37 NC State 3 1 0.1522 0.698 0.4022 69
38 Indiana 2 1 0.1507 0.697 0.4840 31
39 Oregon 3 1 0.1478 0.695 0.3978 70
40 Colorado 3 1 0.1437 0.692 0.3937 72
41 FIU 2 1 0.1382 0.687 0.4715 34
42 South Carolina 3 1 0.1378 0.687 0.3878 74
43 LSU 3 1 0.1278 0.679 0.3778 79
44 Troy 3 1 0.1053 0.662 0.3553 88
45 Houston 2 1 0.1050 0.662 0.4383 49
46 Ohio 3 1 0.0917 0.652 0.3417 91
47 Auburn 3 1 0.0807 0.643 0.3307 94
48 Tennessee 3 1 0.0682 0.634 0.3182 100
49 Toledo 3 1 0.0676 0.633 0.3176 101
50 Virginia 3 1 0.0627 0.630 0.3127 103
51 Texas A&M 3 1 0.0599 0.628 0.3099 105
52 Northern Illinois 2 1 0.0503 0.620 0.3836 77
53 Michigan State 2 1 0.0444 0.616 0.3777 80
54 Marshall 2 1 0.0430 0.615 0.3763 82
55 Illinois 2 1 0.0392 0.612 0.3726 84
56 Iowa State 2 1 0.0372 0.610 0.3706 85
57 Cincinnati 2 2 0.0349 0.608 0.5349 9
58 Tulane 2 2 0.0261 0.602 0.5261 13
59 Arizona State 2 2 0.0219 0.598 0.5219 16
60 Army 2 2 0.0100 0.589 0.5100 22
61 Stanford 2 2 0.0085 0.588 0.5085 23
62 Purdue 2 2 0.0081 0.588 0.5081 24
63 West Virginia 3 1 -0.0028 0.580 0.2472 122
64 Ole Miss 2 1 -0.0085 0.575 0.3248 96
65 Appalachian State 2 2 -0.0290 0.560 0.4710 35
66 Northwestern 2 1 -0.0377 0.553 0.2956 110
67 Utah State 2 2 -0.0382 0.553 0.4618 38
68 Southern Miss 2 1 -0.0427 0.549 0.2906 114
69 Nebraska 2 2 -0.0430 0.549 0.4570 41
70 Buffalo 2 2 -0.0458 0.547 0.4542 43
71 Eastern Michigan 2 1 -0.0480 0.545 0.2854 116
72 Fresno State 1 2 -0.0550 0.540 0.6117 3
73 North Texas 2 2 -0.0591 0.537 0.4409 48
74 Georgia Tech 2 1 -0.0674 0.530 0.2659 120
75 Colorado State 2 2 -0.0743 0.525 0.4257 57
76 Boston College 1 3 -0.0751 0.524 0.6749 1
77 Louisiana Tech 2 2 -0.0786 0.522 0.4214 61
78 UCLA 2 2 -0.0808 0.520 0.4192 62
79 Western Michigan 2 2 -0.0820 0.519 0.4180 63
80 Kansas State 2 1 -0.0865 0.516 0.2469 123
81 MTSU 2 2 -0.0896 0.513 0.4104 66
82 Temple 2 2 -0.1044 0.502 0.3956 71
83 Wyoming 2 2 -0.1115 0.497 0.3885 73
84 Boise State 2 2 -0.1139 0.495 0.3861 76
85 New Mexico State 2 2 -0.1363 0.478 0.3637 87
86 New Mexico 2 2 -0.1465 0.470 0.3535 90
87 Air Force 1 2 -0.1565 0.462 0.5101 21
88 Texas 1 2 -0.1610 0.459 0.5057 25
89 Idaho 2 2 -0.1677 0.454 0.3323 93
90 Miami-OH 2 2 -0.1724 0.450 0.3276 95
91 Old Dominion 2 2 -0.1795 0.445 0.3205 99
92 Arkansas State 1 2 -0.1822 0.443 0.4845 30
93 Ball State 2 2 -0.1895 0.437 0.3105 104
94 Hawaii 2 2 -0.1979 0.431 0.3021 106
95 Arizona 2 2 -0.2031 0.427 0.2969 109
96 Western Kentucky 2 2 -0.2064 0.424 0.2936 112
97 Central Michigan 2 2 -0.2077 0.423 0.2923 113
98 UAB 2 2 -0.2183 0.415 0.2817 117
99 Arkansas 1 2 -0.2186 0.415 0.4480 46
100 Kent State 1 3 -0.2201 0.414 0.5299 11
101 Florida Atlantic 1 3 -0.2235 0.411 0.5265 12
102 Syracuse 2 2 -0.2271 0.408 0.2729 119
103 Pittsburgh 1 3 -0.2294 0.407 0.5206 17
104 UNLV 1 2 -0.2620 0.382 0.4047 68
105 Akron 1 3 -0.2932 0.358 0.4568 42
106 Oregon State 1 3 -0.2982 0.354 0.4518 44
107 North Carolina 1 3 -0.3003 0.352 0.4497 45
108 BYU 1 3 -0.3137 0.342 0.4363 51
109 Rice 1 3 -0.3209 0.337 0.4291 55
110 Rutgers 1 3 -0.3255 0.333 0.4245 58
111 Texas State 1 3 -0.3329 0.328 0.4171 65
112 Florida State 0 2 -0.3401 0.322 0.6599 2
113 Tulsa 1 3 -0.3408 0.321 0.4092 67
114 LA-Monroe 1 2 -0.3444 0.319 0.3222 98
115 Missouri 1 3 -0.3665 0.302 0.3835 78
116 South Alabama 1 3 -0.3760 0.295 0.3740 83
117 San Jose State 1 4 -0.3773 0.294 0.4227 59
118 Other 9 80 -0.4048 0.273 0.4941 28
119 Georgia State 1 2 -0.4137 0.266 0.2530 121
120 LA-Lafayette 1 3 -0.4346 0.250 0.3154 102
121 East Carolina 1 3 -0.4496 0.238 0.3004 107
122 Kansas 1 3 -0.4615 0.229 0.2885 115
123 Connecticut 1 2 -0.4666 0.225 0.2001 130
124 Coastal Carolina 1 2 -0.5056 0.196 0.1611 131
125 Baylor 0 4 -0.5127 0.190 0.4873 29
126 Georgia Southern 0 3 -0.5338 0.174 0.4662 36
127 UTEP 0 4 -0.5378 0.171 0.4622 37
128 Bowling Green 0 4 -0.6361 0.096 0.3639 86
129 Nevada 0 4 -0.6665 0.073 0.3335 92
130 Charlotte 0 4 -0.7245 0.028 0.2755 118
131 Massachusetts 0 5 -0.7618 0.000 0.2382 125

Well, clearly we saw THAT coming!  How is Central Florida #1 so far?  Well, as I will probably note a million times over the season, the rankings only know about this season.  The modeling does not know preseason rank – or whether a team should be good?  So Central Florida, with a big win at Maryland, who was unbeaten against the rest of its schedule, which included a win at Texas – has done enough to claim the top spot for now.  Now, as the season goes along, we will know more about how good the Maryland win really WAS – and Central Florida will continue to have games to win.  In reality, they probably do not have enough schedule power in the future to stay here.  But for now, yippee!!

 

Every #1 Song of the 1980s – Series 8

Click for links to, Series 7,  Series 6,  Series 5Series 4,  Series 3, Series 2, and Series 1 and a quick study of #2 songs

Wow, it has been a while.  But – I am trying to not make this a throwaway exercise, hopefully the September entries will come sooner.

“Magic” by Olivia Newton-John (1980) – Apparently this song was featured in a movie – which I was not aware of. (Xanadu) I was equally unaware that Newton-John was in it. This is her 2nd entry in the 1980s list here – and the more forgettable one. It is definitely emblematic of that 70s-80s pop transition, but it is really hard to remember anything about this song, or to generate any real feeling. (28 points)

“Sailing” by Christopher Cross (1980) – Among the many pleasures of Sirius XM is the Yacht Rock Radio channel, devoted to the best of soft rock from the 1970s and 1980s. A lot of this music is dreadful – and a lot of it seems to fit in the “white guys playing jazz sort of” category. (Boz Scaggs leaps to mind) But some of it is good – even if it is a little ironic (like basically everything involving Michael McDonald) – and it is a good station to put on as background noise. Christopher Cross’ first number one song is the epitome of the smooth, easy listening sort of thing – and it’s even yacht related! Even with this stuff going, it’s not very good – all the negative qualities of soft rock and simpering ballads crashing together. (22 points)

“Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield (1981) – This is one of the best rock songs ever made – and one of the very best pure songs on this list. And of all the great 1980s songs – perhaps this is the most coverable. I remember one of my co-workers who was in a band observing how often he rocked out to it while doing shows. Lyrically, the sentiment is something everybody who has ever been single can at least cop to at some point. It was the song which was #1 on my sister’s birthday in 1981 too, which doesn’t hurt. (50 points)

“Endless Love” by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie (1981) – From a film of the same name, this would be Diana Ross’ biggest solo hit, and the first #1 in Richie’s remarkable run in the 1980s. To call this sentimental would be a wild understatement. I do try to be fair to these songs – to not show a systemic bias against slow ballads. But I am nodding off typing this. (23 points)

“Ghostbusters” by Ray Parker Jr (1984) – Who doesn’t know this song? If you are talking to someone my age, the answer is “nobody” – but I’d like to think it extends further than that. It is almost hard to evaluate it as a piece of music anyway – does anyone ever really feel like listening to this song? That said, as a theme song to a Hollywood blockbuster, it’s as indelible as any John Williams movie theme. There is a cheesy cuteness hearing it now – but really the ranking here is do to its ubiquity as a cultural artifact. (34 points)

“Shout” by Tears for Fears (1985) – The other #1 from the Songs from the Big Chair album, this is one of the most effective hooks of all the songs on this list. “Shout, shot, let it all out” bores into the skull indelibly every time I listen to this song. I don’t like it quite as much as “Everybody Wants to Rule the World”, but they are both of a piece as high quality 80s entries. (36 points)

“The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News (1985) – A lot of what applies for “Ghostbusters” applies here – Back to the Future is one of the most successful, well known movies from the decade – and of course this was the big soundtrack song. Unlike Parker’s song – this one still holds as a song … the movie is not necessary for this song to have value. Of course, Huey Lewis’ music is a little cheesy – with its roots in bar band and doo-wop music. But, on the other side, the band never pretends it is anything else, and it does work on that level. (40 points)

“Glory of Love” by Peter Cetera (1986) – Everything about Peter Cetera is genuinely funny – the vacant eyes (like he joined Scientology), the simpering ballads, his performance in videos, especially when he is showing himself getting into a song. This is a really terrible song, but the video of him makes me laugh every time? How to reconcile? So we split the difference. (27 points)

“Papa Don’t Preach” by Madonna (1986) – The second single from Madonna’s True Blue album, this is a pretty good example of the sort of more “issue oriented” pop songs of the time. Of course, this song is about abortion, which certainly did not make it less controversial at the time. And the story oriented videos are always more dated looking now. I do have to give a bonus for a Danny Aiello guest starring role. This is not the best of her mid 80s stuff, but it has managed to still not sound dated compared to other songs on this list. (37 poins)

“Higher Love” by Steve Winwood (1986) – Winwood’s first #1, I remember seeing this all the time on VH1, back when they played videos – and were the grownup alternative to MTV. (oh those were the days) This is one of those songs which is frankly better than it has to be. I enjoy the more interesting percussion choices used – the sort of thing which got fairly popular during that time period, with Graceland and Peter Gabriel’s eventual direction. This is just generally solid. (34 points)

“Shakedown” by Bob Seger (1987) – There is something kind of sad that THIS is the song which got Bob Seger his only #1. The guy who populated classic rock and various truck commercials throughout the 70s and 80s, the guy who did one of my favorite rock songs of all time (“Night Moves”) – ended up having his biggest pop hit in a disposable opening song to the very disposable sequel to Beverly Hills Cop. It’s not even the best song from the movie. (that’s “I Want Your Sex”) This is decidedly dated now, especially the weirdly hair-band sounding guitar solo. I have no real issue with the song – but come on. (33 points)

“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2 (1987) – It is hard to approach this song fresh. Who doesn’t know it, and really who can separate it from “With or Without You” or “Where the Streets Have No Name”. The Joshua Tree album is every bit the iconic 80s piece that London Calling, Purple Rain, and Thriller are. This is a great song I have seen performed live, and even today it’s operatic scale still works as intended. If I do not give it the highest possible score, it is only because there are songs I just like better. (48 points)

“Who’s That Girl?” by Madonna (1987) – Really, this encapsulates a ton of time capsule aspects of the 1980s. You have a movie soundtrack providing a number one. Even better, the movie is on of Madonna’s several failed forays into movie acting – and this movie was one of the universally panned ones. That the title song would hit the top was basically preordained, as preordained as her going brunette when she wants to look serious. I also somewhat guiltily enjoy her silly co-opting of latin sounds for this. It is fun to listen to this song as a energetic trifle. (34 points)

“La Bamba” by Los Lobos (1987) – “La Bamba” is a fun song, very easy to sing along with – and certainly a worthy artifact of Ritchie Valens’ all too short life. It was good that Los Lobos, one of the best bands America has produced in the last 30 years, got the crack at it. Like “Shakedown”, it is a bit unfair that this was the band’s biggest commercial success, but there you go. Here is a better example of what Los Lobos CAN do.

Either away, I am still glad to have this version. (42 points)

“Monkey” by George Michael (1988) – If you thought I would look down on this song, you have not been following these missives. This is the final #1 from George Michael’s masterpiece album, and undoubtedly the silliest. Apparently, Paula Abdul choreographed the video, which makes me laugh, since the dance sequences here all make me snort when I watch. It takes a heart of stone to resist an up-tempo dance song wondering why you can’t set your ummm, monkey free. I might have to play this again. (41 points)

“Batdance” by Prince (1989) – Price having his own Youtube channel gives me some mixed feelings. It is great to finally be able to post some pristine videos from his greatest hits. Of course, this never happens if Prince were still alive. “Batdance” (no points for guessing the movie) is the song on this list which has grown in stature the most over time for me. It is not a song for everybody – and I did not fully appreciate it as a kid. But over time, especially with some exposure to rave and industrial and various related forms, it resonates more. It is amazing to see Prince essentially put a bunch of songs and movie clips into a blender and come out with something that works so well. The driving groove carries all of the seemingly discordant pieces and movie dialogue in a way where it fits a coherent whole, somehow. It’s an amazing achievement which only Prince could have done. (48 points)

“Right Here Waiting” by Richard Marx (1989) – One of 1989 biggest hits, this is the better of Marx’s two chart topping ballads. It is mushy. I have a hard time really breaking down the ballads – they are all simpering, but some are better. One of the plusses of songs like this is that it is a bit more accessible as far as love songs go. I enjoy “Bump and Grind” as much as anybody, but it is nice that songs like this are there – you get a warm sentiment without necessarily an anatomy class. In some ways, I think, it allows songs like these to be accessible for more flavors of love, as it were. (32 points)

The big board …

Song Artist
1 West End Girls Pet Shop Boys
2 Kiss Prince
3 Jessie’s Girl Rick Springfield
4 With or Without You U2
5 When Doves Cry Prince
6 Beat It Michael Jackson
7 Billie Jean Michael Jackson
8 Rock With You Michael Jackson
9 I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For U2
10 Batdance Prince
11 Father Figure George Michael
12 Roll With It Steve Winwood
13 Jump Van Halen
14 Livin on a Prayer Bon Jovi
15 Down Under Men At Work
16 Every Breath You Take The Police
17 Eye of the Tiger Survivor
18 Faith George Michael
19 How Will I Know Whitney Houston
20 Like a Virgin Madonna
21 The Tide Is High Blondie
22 Centerfold J Geils Band
23 (I Just) Died in Your Arms Cutting Crew
24 La Bamba Los Lobos
25 Don’t You (Forget About Me) Simple Minds
26 Sledgehammer Peter Gabriel
27 We Are the World USA For Africa
28 Like A Prayer Madonna
29 Greatest Love of All Whitney Houston
30 Monkey George Michael
31 Everybody Wants to Rule The World Tears For Fears
32 Rapture Blondie
33 Man in the Mirror Michael Jackson
34 The Power of Love Huey Lewis and the News
35 Careless Whisper Wham featuring George Michael
36 Footloose Kenny Loggins
37 Walk Like an Egyptian Bangles
38 Karma Chameleon Culture Club
39 I Love Rock and Roll Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
40 Celebration Kool and the Gang
41 So Emotional Whitney Houston
42 Don’t You Want Me The Human League
43 Two Hearts Phil Collins
44 Need You Tonight INXS
45 A View to a Kill Duran Duran
46 Call Me Blondie
47 Let’s Dance David Bowie
48 Never Gonna Give You Up Rick Astley
49 Dirty Diana Michael Jackson
50 Together Forever Rick Astley
51 Time After Time Cyndi Lauper
52 Every Rose Has Its Thorn Poison
53 Papa Don’t Preach Madonna
54 My Prerogative Bobby Brown
55 Got My Mind Set on You George Harrison
56 Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car Billy Ocean
57 Addicted to Love Robert Palmer
58 Shout Tears For Fears
59 Owner of a Lonely Heart Yes
60 I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) Whitney Houston
61 Forever Your Girl Paula Abdul
62 Maneater Darryl Hall and John Oates
63 Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 Pink Floyd
64 Rock Me Amadeus Falco
65 Chariots of Fire Vangelis
66 Open Your Heart Madonna
67 One More Try George Michael
68 Wishing Well Terrence Trent D’Arby
69 The Flame Cheap Trick
70 The Way You Make Me Feel Michael Jackson
71 Say, Say, Say Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
72 9 to 5 Dolly Parton
73 Straight Up Paula Abdul
74 The Look Roxette
75 Head to Toe Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
76 Invisible Touch Genesis
77 Higher Love Steve Winwood
78 The Reflex Duran Duran
79 Who’s That Girl Madonna
80 I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) Aretha Franklin and George Michael
81 Baby Don’t Forget My Number Milli Vanilli
82 Ghostbusters Ray Parker Jr
83 Flashdance … What a Feeling Irene Cara
84 Shakedown Bob Seger
85 Good Thing Fine Young Cannibals
86 That’s What Friends Are For Dionne Warwick
87 Physical Olivia Newton John
88 I Can’t Go For That Hall and Oates
89 Sussudio Phil Collins
90 I’ll Be There For You Bon Jovi
91 Crazy Little Thing Called Love Queen
92 Everything She Wants Wham
93 Africa Toto
94 Right Here Waiting Richard Marx
95 Holding Back the Years Simply Red
96 Satisfied Richard Marx
97 Alone Heart
98 Coming Up Paul McCartney
99 Come on Eileen Dexy’s Midnight Runners
100 These Dreams Heart
101 Anything For You Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
102 Heaven Bryan Adams
103 Ebony and Ivory Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
104 The Living Years Mike and the Mechanics
105 At This Moment Billy Vera and the Beaters
106 Bette Davis Eyes Kim Carnes
107 If You Don’t Know Me By Now Simply Red
108 Foolish Beat Debbie Gibson
109 She Drives Me Crazy Fine Young Cannibals
110 Eternal Flame The Bangles
111 Kyrie Mr. Mister
112 Hold On to the Nights Richard Marx
113 Shake You Down Gregory Abbott
114 You Keep Me Hangin On Kim Wilde
115 Kiss Is On My List Hall and Oates
116 Funkytown Lipps, Inc
117 Let’s Hear It for the Boy DeNiece Williams
118 Everytime You Go Away Paul Young
119 Keep on Loving You REO Speedwagon
120 Magic Olivia Newton John
121 There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry) Billy Ocean
122 Hello Lionel Richie
123 It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me Billy Joel
124 Glory of Love Peter Cetera
125 I Love a Rainy Night Eddie Rabbitt
126 Live to Tell Madonna
127 I’ll Be Loving You (Forever) New Kids on the Block
128 Lost in Your Eyes Debbie Gibson
129 Say You, Say Me Lionel Richie
130 Always Atlantic Starr
131 Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now Starship
132 (Just Like) Starting Over John Lennon
133 On My Own Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald
134 Crazy for You Madonna
135 Seasons Change Expose
136 Can’t Fight This Feeling REO Speedwagon
137 One More Night Phil Collins
138 I Want to Know What Love Is Foreigner
139 Stars on 45 Medley Stars on 45
140 Escape (The Pina Colada Song) Rupert Holmes
141 Wind Beneath My Wings Bette Midler
142 Sara Starship
143 Endless Love Diana Ross and Lionel Richie
144 Lean on Me Club Nouveau
145 Sailing Christopher Cross
146 Baby, Come to Me Patti Austin and James Ingram
147 Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) Phil Collins
148 Where Do Broken Hearts Go Whitney Houston
149 Could’ve Been Tiffany
150 Do That To Me One More Time Captain and Tennille
151 Jacob’s Ladder Huey Lewis and the News
152 Morning Train (Nine to Five) Sheena Easton
153 When I’m With You Sheriff
154 The One That You Love Air Supply
155 Toy Soldiers Martika
156 Rock On Michael Damian
157 Please Don’t Go KC and the Sunshine Band

Every #1 Song of the 1980s – Series 7

Click for links to Series 6,  Series 5Series 4,  Series 3, Series 2, and Series 1 and a quick study of #2 songs

As summer gets going in full force and just after Murika! celebrated its birthday – we make the turn in every #1 song of the 1980s. Looking at the 22 songs which hit number one during this month – there are some of the really emblematic songs of the MTV era in particular. A couple of these songs stink, and the end of decade is much more wobbly in retrospect – even if it was the wheelhouse of my pop culture awakening.

“It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” by Billy Joel (1980) – The first of Billy Joel’s three number ones in the decade, this is one of those super early 80s songs which do not really resemble the decade at all. It also – especially in the video – is very dated obviously. What I found interesting is that the guitar and general tone is somewhat similar to more outwardly rockabilly stuff, particularly The Stray Cats when they hit a couple of years later. That was a lot cooler though. (27 points)

“The One That You Love” by Air Supply (1981) – Interrupting two stints totalling 9 weeks at the top for “Bette Davis Eyes”, this was Air Supply’s one number one – although they had a long list of simpering soft love songs around that time. This song is fairly typical of the duo’s ouevre – it’s the sort of combination of earnestness and execrable quality which really allows them and Peter Cetera to glow in the dark a bit here. I had never seen the video until I sat down to type this – so I am tempted to give this a higher score due to – let’s just say a wee bit of camp – but I refrain. (20 points)

“Don’t You Want Me” by The Human League (1982) – This is definitely one of the defining videos and songs of the early MTV 80s. This sort of synthesizer laden pop would be a fixture in the decade clearly, and this is one of the better versions of it. Everything, including the video works here. (38 points)

“Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor (1982) – By the time Rocky III rolled around, the heroic archetype of the first two films had evolved into a formula with the comic book villains (Clubber Lang, hello!). Thankfully, we got Rocky Balboa and Creed to give Rocky some soul at the end – but that does not mean Rocky III was not fun on its own. It also spawned a theme which is every bit the iconic equivalent of Bill Condi’s classic theme for the original. This song has survived – and still works for that purpose of getting the gang amped up. It is clearly way up on any list like this. (44 points)

“Every Breath You Take” by The Police (1983) – This was the #1 song of 1983, and one of the top wedding songs of the decade. As everybody knows by now, that was not what Sting intended. This has always amused me of course, although in a sense when art goes into the domain – it’s value is defined somewhat by what the audience things and interprets, no? I certainly have always found it more haunting than romantic – but who am I? It is not my favorite Police song (“Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” is better, although “Roxanne” is not), but it certainly deserves to be mentioned on the list. (44 points)

“When Doves Cry” by Prince (1984) – This is pretty clearly beyond reproach. The famous song without a bass – the legendary opening riff … from one of the decade’s very best albums. It was sampled in MC Hammer’s highest charting song, and it is a song which has remained timeless. It has every reasonable argument to be #1 on this list – but I prefer “Kiss” funky minimalism from the Prince (and one of his other number ones has grown a ton as I’ve gotten older). Game, blouses. (49 points)

“Sussudio” by Phil Collins (1985) – This was a song I enjoyed quite a bit in my youth – I have given positive views on Phil Collins before more gently. At the same time, this song has not aged particularly well. It has not done anything bad – it’s not a bad song. It just has more of a blah feel now. A good, albeit thoroughly unremarkable up tempo. (33 points)

“A View to a Kill” by Duran Duran (1985) – The band’s other number 1 song – the trivia note here is that it is one of the biggest hits of the Bond themes. Only “Nobody Does it Better” and “Goldfinger” itself can claim a seat at the table. Certainly it is the most silly delightful video of any song associated with the franchise. I have pointed this out, but John Taylor has largely defeated aging. (38 points)

“Everytime You Go Away” by Paul Young (1985) – You have to admire the rock solid mulletude in the video. This is one of those easy listening sort of ballads which is a little better than the simpering worst of Peter Cetera (though lacking in the unintentional comedy). There are songs which deserve more space in this missive. As a tip, I am a big fan of Young’s Chi-Lite’s cover, “Oh Girl”. Listen to that instead. (29 points)

“There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)” by Billy Ocean (1986) – Of Ocean’s biggest hits, this is the one you probably forgot. I know I did. It really does feel like you had to have one of these ballads if you were a big star in the decade. It is slightly better than you’d expect – but just slightly. (28 points)

“Holding Back the Years” by Simply Red (1986) – This is the sort of song which time helps out. This is a better song than I remember when I was younger. This is squarely in the adult contemporary space (to use industry jibber jabber) and one of the better songs of that ilk on this list. It is not the form which will score too high for me, but this is distinctly better than some of its peers. (32 points)

“Invisible Touch” by Genesis (1986) – Genesis is one of the weakest bands to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Seriously. What is funny is that the band is hailed as a progressive rock icon – which certainly describes their 4-man incarnation I suppose. But the Genesis who was actually successful happened after Gabriel left and Phil Collins took over the lead. Can you name anything Genesis did with Peter Gabriel? Now Genesis was extremely successful in the post-Gabriel incarnation, with this being their biggest hit. But a good, cheeky, pop band is not the sort of thing I’d call legendary. Nobody is putting Toto in the Hall either. But that has nothing to do with this song, which is never unpleasant to encounter. (34 points)

“Sledgehammer” by Peter Gabriel (1986) – Ah, but Peter Gabriel DID leave Genesis for his super interesting solo career. Gabriel has always done his own thing, always interesting – sometimes intersecting with mainstream pop, but not necessarily. What is there to say about “Sledgehammer”? It’s one of the most recognized (and best) videos ever made – it was one of the earliest Ardman Animation gigs (Wallace and Gromit), and really one of the best uses of the medium. The song itself still holds up as well. (42 points)

“Alone” by Heart (1987) – Heart and Chicago are very similar sort of arcs to me. Both of them had these cool, frankly kind of kick-ass rock bands in the 1970s – there are entries which come on classic rock or whatever and still work great. But the bands biggest commercial successes took place in the 1980s via balladeering and clear corruption to satisfy Top 40. This is a perfect example, and not surprising it was one of the biggest hits of 1987. Ann Wilson’s voice salvages whatever can be salvaged ultimately here. (32 points)

“Dirty Diana” by Michael Jackson (1988) – Look, he’s gone hard! It is a sign of Jackson’s pull, like how he got Eddie Van Halen to a solo on “Beat It”, that he got Billy Idol’s guitarist for this. This is one of Jackson’s more atmospheric, interesting songs – it stands outside of his more danceable or softer songs. Like Janet Jackson did in 1990 with “Black Cat” this sort of interpretation of a hard rock song is not one of the songs which is easily remembered, but it works out to be one of his better ones. (37 points)

“The Flame” by Cheap Trick (1988) – Sometimes, when it comes to the “monster ballads” it’s just personal taste. This is objectively not as good a song as, say, “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”. But this is distinctly better than some of the similarly mawkish soft rock songs which made it big. Of course, like Heart, some of their earlier work colors my thinking here. (35 points)

“Hold On To the Nights” by Richard Marx (1988) – The first #1 for one of the great mullets of the decade. He had another similar ballad in 1989. That was better. (29 points)

“Roll With It” by Steve Winwood (1988) – When I was a kid, Michelob was advertised a lot on TV. Not Michelob Ultra (there was no Michelob Ultra). In 1988, Michelob was selling themselves as the beer of the night – and they used classic rock guys among the pitchmen. It helped Eric Clapton make a return and helped promote Steve Winwood’s Roll With It album. The title track, one of the biggest hits of 1988, is one of my favorite songs of the decade. I do think the video helped – it really does fit the style the song evokes. Just a genuinely excellent rock song. (45 points)

“Baby Don’t Forget My Number” by Milli Vanilli (1989) – As I had talked about in the Number 2s piece, Milli Vanilli’s music would absolutely play on Top 40 stations now. They are one of those bands who have been erased from the record due to that scandal – but honestly, if you look at the music produced, you have to admit that it’s largely solid silly dance pop. (34 points)

“Good Thing” by Fine Young Cannibals (1989) – Interestingly, “She Drives Me Crazy” has probably survived better, and it probably should have. The falsetto, the video – it is a distinctive song. This song, their second #1 is significantly more “normal” – less interesting but a better song in the vein of a “Roll With It”. I like the piano solo – which was not something you got much of in the decade. (33 points)

“If You Don’t Know Me By Now” by Simply Red (1989) – Simply Red was covered earlier. Squarely in the adult contemporary zone here, this Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes cover was the band’s second #1. This song did not improve on the Melvin version – and while perfectly okay, is certainly not as good as their other #1. (30 points)

“Toy Soldiers” by Martika (1989) – I can’t believe this happened. As I have pointed out before, my pop culture awareness occured around late 1988-1989. I knew this song was bad even then. Wikipedia tells me this song is about her friend’s cocaine addiction – which is more poignant if you are trying to get me to change my mind. Whatever heft it gives the lyrics – there is a lack in lots of other areas, singing, guitar solo – that musically it sounds like umpteen other ballads. (20 points)

After 7 months, the big board:

Song Artist
1 West End Girls Pet Shop Boys
2 Kiss Prince
3 With or Without You U2
4 When Doves Cry Prince
5 Beat It Michael Jackson
6 Billie Jean Michael Jackson
7 Rock With You Michael Jackson
8 Father Figure George Michael
9 Roll With It Steve Winwood
10 Jump Van Halen
11 Livin on a Prayer Bon Jovi
12 Down Under Men At Work
13 Every Breath You Take The Police
14 Eye of the Tiger Survivor
15 Faith George Michael
16 How Will I Know Whitney Houston
17 Like a Virgin Madonna
18 The Tide Is High Blondie
19 Centerfold J Geils Band
20 (I Just) Died in Your Arms Cutting Crew
21 Don’t You (Forget About Me) Simple Minds
22 We Are the World USA For Africa
23 Sledgehammer Peter Gabriel
24 Like A Prayer Madonna
25 Greatest Love of All Whitney Houston
26 Everybody Wants to Rule The World Tears For Fears
27 Rapture Blondie
28 Man in the Mirror Michael Jackson
29 Careless Whisper Wham featuring George Michael
30 Footloose Kenny Loggins
31 Walk Like an Egyptian Bangles
32 Karma Chameleon Culture Club
33 I Love Rock and Roll Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
34 Celebration Kool and the Gang
35 So Emotional Whitney Houston
36 Don’t You Want Me The Human League
37 Two Hearts Phil Collins
38 Need You Tonight INXS
39 A View to a Kill Duran Duran
40 Call Me Blondie
41 Let’s Dance David Bowie
42 Never Gonna Give You Up Rick Astley
43 Dirty Diana Michael Jackson
44 Together Forever Rick Astley
45 Time After Time Cyndi Lauper
46 Every Rose Has Its Thorn Poison
47 My Prerogative Bobby Brown
48 Got My Mind Set on You George Harrison
49 Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car Billy Ocean
50 Addicted to Love Robert Palmer
51 Owner of a Lonely Heart Yes
52 I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) Whitney Houston
53 Forever Your Girl Paula Abdul
54 Maneater Darryl Hall and John Oates
55 Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 Pink Floyd
56 Rock Me Amadeus Falco
57 Chariots of Fire Vangelis
58 Open Your Heart Madonna
59 One More Try George Michael
60 Wishing Well Terrence Trent D’Arby
61 The Flame Cheap Trick
62 The Way You Make Me Feel Michael Jackson
63 Say, Say, Say Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
64 9 to 5 Dolly Parton
65 Straight Up Paula Abdul
66 The Look Roxette
67 Head to Toe Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
68 Invisible Touch Genesis
69 The Reflex Duran Duran
70 I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) Aretha Franklin and George Michael
71 Baby Don’t Forget My Number Milli Vanilli
72 Flashdance … What a Feeling Irene Cara
73 Good Thing Fine Young Cannibals
74 That’s What Friends Are For Dionne Warwick
75 Physical Olivia Newton John
76 I Can’t Go For That Hall and Oates
77 Sussudio Phil Collins
78 I’ll Be There For You Bon Jovi
79 Crazy Little Thing Called Love Queen
80 Everything She Wants Wham
81 Africa Toto
82 Holding Back the Years Simply Red
83 Satisfied Richard Marx
84 Alone Heart
85 Coming Up Paul McCartney
86 Come on Eileen Dexy’s Midnight Runners
87 These Dreams Heart
88 Anything For You Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
89 Heaven Bryan Adams
90 Ebony and Ivory Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
91 The Living Years Mike and the Mechanics
92 At This Moment Billy Vera and the Beaters
93 Bette Davis Eyes Kim Carnes
94 If You Don’t Know Me By Now Simply Red
95 Foolish Beat Debbie Gibson
96 She Drives Me Crazy Fine Young Cannibals
97 Eternal Flame The Bangles
98 Kyrie Mr. Mister
99 Hold On to the Nights Richard Marx
100 Shake You Down Gregory Abbott
101 You Keep Me Hangin On Kim Wilde
102 Kiss Is On My List Hall and Oates
103 Funkytown Lipps, Inc
104 Let’s Hear It for the Boy DeNiece Williams
105 Everytime You Go Away Paul Young
106 Keep on Loving You REO Speedwagon
107 There’ll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry) Billy Ocean
108 Hello Lionel Richie
109 It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me Billy Joel
110 I Love a Rainy Night Eddie Rabbitt
111 Live to Tell Madonna
112 I’ll Be Loving You (Forever) New Kids on the Block
113 Lost in Your Eyes Debbie Gibson
114 Say You, Say Me Lionel Richie
115 Always Atlantic Starr
116 Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now Starship
117 (Just Like) Starting Over John Lennon
118 On My Own Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald
119 Crazy for You Madonna
120 Seasons Change Expose
121 Can’t Fight This Feeling REO Speedwagon
122 One More Night Phil Collins
123 I Want to Know What Love Is Foreigner
124 Stars on 45 Medley Stars on 45
125 Escape (The Pina Colada Song) Rupert Holmes
126 Wind Beneath My Wings Bette Midler
127 Sara Starship
128 Lean on Me Club Nouveau
129 Baby, Come to Me Patti Austin and James Ingram
130 Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) Phil Collins
131 Where Do Broken Hearts Go Whitney Houston
132 Could’ve Been Tiffany
133 Do That To Me One More Time Captain and Tennille
134 Jacob’s Ladder Huey Lewis and the News
135 Morning Train (Nine to Five) Sheena Easton
136 When I’m With You Sheriff
137 The One That You Love Air Supply
138 Toy Soldiers Martika
139 Rock On Michael Damian
140 Please Don’t Go KC and the Sunshine Band

Every #1 Song of the 1980s – Series 6

Click for links to Series 5Series 4,  Series 3, Series 2, and Series 1 and a quick study of #2 songs

June does not have as many new additions as May. A number of those songs had pretty long runs at the top. Either way, I am happy to not have 28 new entries or whatever.

“Coming Up” by Paul McCartney (1980) – This was McCartney’s last number one song, this song actually had a pretty interesting history. It was released in the States as a single with a live version from Glasgow as the B-Side. Indeed, it was the live version of the song which got more radio airplay and traction. Indeed, putting the original single side by side with McCartney doing it live shows it. It’s a lot better as a live song – faster, more energetic – the vocal filtering in the record version just doesn’t work. (31 points)

SINGLE:

LIVE:

“Stars on 45 Medley” by Stars on 45 (1981) – Okay, last time I talked about Sheena Easton’s “Morning Train” as the strangest number one of the decade – I retract. This medley of old hits – a dance mix I presume – is the strangest. I am not sure if this is supposed to be a precursor to stuff like DJ Shadow or not, but it seems too clunky for that. It feels like a Wedding DJ performance as much as anything. The nice thing is that they play a lot of cool old songs. But come on – listening to it now, it is hard that it was a major single, let alone a #1. (24 points)

“Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper (1984) – There is a lot of real solid 80s markers here. The hairstyle, the story-video. This was the number one from Lauper’s She’s So Unusual album – and of course it’s a ballad. But – it’s a good one, an unusually well written one. Also – while Lauper had a distinctive look and seemed like a pop creation – she really can sing. (“I Drove All Night” from 1989 is my favorite example of this) This song decidedly holds up (37 points)

“The Reflex” by Duran Duran (1984) – Hoo boy. Duran Duran’s first #1 song – which made it I believe as a hyped “first single from a new album” thing which comes up quite a bit. There is nothing about this video or song that doesn’t seem dated and trapped in the 1980s. It reminds me of an amusing story Greg Proops told on his The Smartest Man in the World (which I recommend you avail yourself of) podcast about seeing them recently. Simon Le Bron, even at his advanced age is basically the same guy – including flashing his tongue to the audience – yuck! Of course bassist John Taylor seems to have stopped aging. What this is a long way of saying that while this is a fairly unremarkable Duran Duran song compared to others – it is quite the time capsule. (34 points)

“Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears (1985) – Pretty clearly one of the best known songs of the decade. It has had a lot of staying power since – it was the theme to Dennis Miller Live for years. The Songs from the Big Chair album was a massive seller in 1985, and this is the more durable of the two number ones, although “Shout” is plenty good. (41 points)

“Heaven” by Bryan Adams (1985) – Oh, the heartstrings are tugged. This ballad (there is that word again) was the number one from Adams’ Reckless album. This is typical stuff – not terrible, but more terrible when you see how it opened up his career to much more atrocious stuff (see Robin Hood). (31 points)

“Live To Tell” by Madonna (1986) – Both featured on Madonna’s True Blue album and the film At Close Range, which starred her husband-at-the-time Sean Penn, listening to this now feels like constant droning. This is a long enough post – life is short. It did remind me that they were married though, and made a bad movie together.

“On My Own” by Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald (1986) – Really, it is inconceivable that a song like this would even be a major release now – let alone a number one. LaBelle and McDonald were big names – but clearly more adult contemporary now, than the exceedingly young pop stars of now. They weren’t has-beens – but they both achieved fame in the 1970s. But here is a duet, recorded in different cities – with LaBelle’s distinctive voice and McDonald’s rather glorious beard. But there is not much distinctive otherwise. (25 points)

“You Keep Me Hanging On” by Kim Wilde (1987) – One of the very few British solo women to ever have a number one, Kim Wilde actually had a big international hit in 1981 with “Kids in America”, which is probably more famous now than this. Of course, this is a cover of The Supremes classic – one of the best Motown songs of them all. Of course, Wilde covers it in a frankly, very archetypally 1980s way. It is a corruption of a Motown classic – no doubt – but thankfully the song itself is good enough to pull this through. (29 points)

“Always” by Atlantic Starr (1987) – First of all, Atlantic Starr sounds like a tech startup – not an 80s R&B group. One thing that is interesting for the genre is the co-ed leads. Usually, now a slow jam would be a male singer covered in sweat singing something to try to get the ladies to feel his muscles. So in that vein, this is a much different sort of ballad. But – it’s another easy listening sort of ballad which was amazingly successful in the decade, and I am trying not to nod off here. This is a hard genre to score high for me – but this might actually be better than I am going to give it credit for, but sorry. (26 points)

“Head to Toe” by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam (1987) – Ah, this is more like it. I was about to fall asleep after the run of ballads before this. Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam was a freestyle band who had a couple of number ones in 1987, this being the first. In aesthetic, pacing, and hook – this is clearly something which is a time capsule from the mid 80s. Seriously, I’m talking about right down to the solid mulletude sported all around, including the afro-style ones. This is the sort of song which is hard to resist – even as I can call it trifle. (34 points)

“I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)” by Whitney Houston (1987) – As the first single from Whitney Houston’s follow-up to her star making debut, this song did not really even have to be good to get to the top of the charts. (indeed, later is a terrific example of this) As you can discern from this series – I cannot discuss Whitney rationally. The songs are trifle – and she largely did not write them. And I have given thumbs down to songs like this before – but the performer really matters. Seriously (to paraphrase Bill Simmons), when you watch shows like American Idol or The Voice or any other extrusion, basically television has a subgenre dedicated essentially to finding Whitney Houston again. (36 points)

“Together Forever” by Rick Astley (1988) – The non-RickRoll of Astley’s two trips to the top of the chart, I actually like this song better. I remember it being one of the preset sequences on a keyboard we owned when I was a kid, and indeed the hook is really really catchy. The heavy production and heaping spoonfulls of bells and keyboards is very typical of some of the really successful Britpop of the decade, whether it be this stuff or Swing Out Sister, and stuff like that. Everything about this – the video with the overexposed filter, so they look even pastier than in real life – takes me back. It is an immensely charming, very dated piece. (37 points)

“Foolish Beat” by Debbie Gibson (1988) – Bless her heart, Debbie Gibson did write her own songs, which put her above Tiffany in the “mall pop” battle which took place in 1987-88 when they both burst on the scene. “Could’ve Been” by Tiffany was one of the worst #1 songs of the decade. And of course, for Gibson – it took … wait for it … a soppy ballad to get her first #1. But this is decidedly better than Tiffany, and as a self-written expression of teenage mopiness, I give some credit. It’s not especially simpering considering – which is a relief. Extra credit for the prominent sax solo, which really is something you don’t get anymore. (30 points)

“Rock On” by Michael Damian (1989) – A cover of David Essex’s 1973 hit, one of the worst pop songs of the 1970s, Michael Damian – who if I recall correctly, was on a soap opera at the time – delivers a cover which, while awful, is probably about as good as you can do with this song. That said, Essex had the excuse of doing the song first, where it might have been considered experimental. Either way, this song being made to service Dream A Little Dream, the terrible two Coreys film, is all too appropriate. (20 points)

“Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler (1989) – This is one of those songs which I have to grudgingly acknowledge is well written, from a Bert Bachrach “hitmaker” sort of perspective. The song’s shelf life has been considerable – probably fairly. But, come on now. It is simpering, soppy, everything else – that it is a fairly good example of it is not enough for me to revisit this for my pleasure. (23 points)

“I’ll Be Loving You (Forever)” by New Kids on the Block (1989) – Oh dear. I guess we’d have to wrestle with this at some point. I have friends who attended their concert a couple of years ago (?) – still getting fired up, moaning for their favorite kid (probably somewhat hipster ironically, but still). The nostalgia is powerful – and certainly the stuff in 1989 came out right at the beginning of my time of being aware of this stuff. But I did not really like this much at the time. (I will have to confess to other songs though) But of course, this is the sort of boy band manufactured ballad to get – well, in Tom Jones, it would have involved having lingerie thrown at them. NKOTB was a legitimate phenomenon then of course, and this was their first #1 – and the first single to prominently feature Jordan Knight’s high voice. I’m not sure if that is a plus. (26 points)

“Satisfied” by Richard Marx (1989) – The first single from Richard Marx’s (at the time) long-awaited follow up to his very successful debut – this song did not have to be good to hit the top. There are a ton of parts from the “80s song parts” store – the guitar solo in particular. This song has not really aged well for me – although the guitar riff is catchier than I perceived when I listened to it again. But the sound – especially with the subtle organ in the back is pretty dated. At the same time, there is enough silly here, especially in the video – the mullet, the heavy bag at the beginning, Marx’s attempts to look hard – that to give some “good-bad-video” points. (32 points)

The score now, with half a year of #1s?  Of course, we have the rest of the summer to go – and I know (and you can probably identify) some songs which are pretty clearly going to hit pretty darn high here.

Song Artist
1 West End Girls Pet Shop Boys
2 Kiss Prince
3 With or Without You U2
4 Beat It Michael Jackson
5 Billie Jean Michael Jackson
6 Rock With You Michael Jackson
7 Father Figure George Michael
8 Jump Van Halen
9 Livin on a Prayer Bon Jovi
10 Down Under Men At Work
11 Faith George Michael
12 How Will I Know Whitney Houston
13 Like a Virgin Madonna
14 The Tide Is High Blondie
15 Centerfold J Geils Band
16 (I Just) Died in Your Arms Cutting Crew
17 Don’t You (Forget About Me) Simple Minds
18 We Are the World USA For Africa
19 Like A Prayer Madonna
20 Greatest Love of All Whitney Houston
21 Everybody Wants to Rule The World Tears For Fears
22 Rapture Blondie
23 Man in the Mirror Michael Jackson
24 Careless Whisper Wham featuring George Michael
25 Footloose Kenny Loggins
26 Walk Like an Egyptian Bangles
27 Karma Chameleon Culture Club
28 I Love Rock and Roll Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
29 Celebration Kool and the Gang
30 So Emotional Whitney Houston
31 Two Hearts Phil Collins
32 Need You Tonight INXS
33 Call Me Blondie
34 Let’s Dance David Bowie
35 Never Gonna Give You Up Rick Astley
36 Together Forever Rick Astley
37 Time After Time Cyndi Lauper
38 Every Rose Has Its Thorn Poison
39 My Prerogative Bobby Brown
40 Got My Mind Set on You George Harrison
41 Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car Billy Ocean
42 Addicted to Love Robert Palmer
43 Owner of a Lonely Heart Yes
44 I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me) Whitney Houston
45 Forever Your Girl Paula Abdul
46 Maneater Darryl Hall and John Oates
47 Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 Pink Floyd
48 Rock Me Amadeus Falco
49 Chariots of Fire Vangelis
50 Open Your Heart Madonna
51 One More Try George Michael
52 Wishing Well Terrence Trent D’Arby
53 The Way You Make Me Feel Michael Jackson
54 Say, Say, Say Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
55 9 to 5 Dolly Parton
56 Straight Up Paula Abdul
57 The Look Roxette
58 Head to Toe Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam
59 The Reflex Duran Duran
60 I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) Aretha Franklin and George Michael
61 Flashdance … What a Feeling Irene Cara
62 That’s What Friends Are For Dionne Warwick
63 Physical Olivia Newton John
64 I Can’t Go For That Hall and Oates
65 I’ll Be There For You Bon Jovi
66 Crazy Little Thing Called Love Queen
67 Everything She Wants Wham
68 Africa Toto
69 Satisfied Richard Marx
70 Coming Up Paul McCartney
71 Come on Eileen Dexy’s Midnight Runners
72 These Dreams Heart
73 Anything For You Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
74 Heaven Bryan Adams
75 Ebony and Ivory Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
76 The Living Years Mike and the Mechanics
77 At This Moment Billy Vera and the Beaters
78 Bette Davis Eyes Kim Carnes
79 Foolish Beat Debbie Gibson
80 She Drives Me Crazy Fine Young Cannibals
81 Eternal Flame The Bangles
82 Kyrie Mr. Mister
83 Shake You Down Gregory Abbott
84 You Keep Me Hangin On Kim Wilde
85 Kiss Is On My List Hall and Oates
86 Funkytown Lipps, Inc
87 Let’s Hear It for the Boy DeNiece Williams
88 Keep on Loving You REO Speedwagon
89 Hello Lionel Richie
90 I Love a Rainy Night Eddie Rabbitt
91 Live to Tell Madonna
92 I’ll Be Loving You (Forever) New Kids on the Block
93 Lost in Your Eyes Debbie Gibson
94 Say You, Say Me Lionel Richie
95 Always Atlantic Starr
96 Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now Starship
97 (Just Like) Starting Over John Lennon
98 On My Own Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald
99 Crazy for You Madonna
100 Seasons Change Expose
101 Can’t Fight This Feeling REO Speedwagon
102 One More Night Phil Collins
103 I Want to Know What Love Is Foreigner
104 Stars on 45 Medley Stars on 45
105 Escape (The Pina Colada Song) Rupert Holmes
106 Wind Beneath My Wings Bette Midler
107 Sara Starship
108 Lean on Me Club Nouveau
109 Baby, Come to Me Patti Austin and James Ingram
110 Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) Phil Collins
111 Where Do Broken Hearts Go Whitney Houston
112 Could’ve Been Tiffany
113 Do That To Me One More Time Captain and Tennille
114 Jacob’s Ladder Huey Lewis and the News
115 Morning Train (Nine to Five) Sheena Easton
116 When I’m With You Sheriff
117 Rock On Michael Damian
118 Please Don’t Go KC and the Sunshine Band

Every #1 Song of the 1980s – Series 5

Click for links to Series 4,  Series 3, Series 2, and Series 1 and a quick study of #2 songs

After a brief foray to look at the songs which just missed #1, back to our regularly scheduled programming.  As we add songs – looking through the month of May in the 1980s, the list starts to add songs which evoke summer – and some of the biggest songs of them all.

“Funkytown” by Lipps, Inc (1980) – This is definitely evidence that not everything that endures is that good. Given what was available in the disco, or back end of disco – it is hard to call this a particularly distinguished entry. That said, whether it is via Dumb and Dumber or whatever, this is certainly one of the most well known dance songs of all time. But I cannot generate much enthusiasm here. (29 points)

“Morning Train (9 to 5)” by Sheena Easton (1981) – This might be the strangest number one song of the entire decade. It is clearly one of the worst – indeed, this has nothing in common with the rest of Easton’s 80s career. Seriously – if you have any recollection of Sheena Easton, it was going to be for her hooking up with Prince in the “Sign O The Times” era. Or even earlier – songs that evoke aerobics, like you know …

But no – her biggest hit was actually THIS song – which seems to comparatively have been done with a lobotomy. (20 points)

“Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes (1981) – The biggest single of 1981, Carnes was one of those – like Dolly Parton and Eddie Rabbitt – who found success under the country crossover trend which took hold at the beginning of the decade. By the fates of many of the songs in this part of the decade, this song should not have aged as well as it has. It’s not a great song – but it has endured. (30 points)

“Chariots of Fire” by Vangelis (1982) – Ah, one of those songs that is so well known as to be cliche. It is hard to even type this without lapsing into that slow motion. This is probably the best movie song of the decade – not the best song in a movie – but in terms of evoking the movie (or running generally). Few songs have fit its subject better. (36 points)

“Ebony and Ivory” by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder (1982) – This was one of the biggest hits of 1982, so that can’t be denied. But of the big hits of the decade, it is among the most dated. OF course it was a huge hit – a collaboration of two of the most illustrious composers of their time. But honestly – I’d rush past this if I had to put together a tribute. It’s fame and whatnot carry this to a higher score than it frankly deserves. (31 points)

“Let’s Dance” by David Bowie (1983) – Bowie’s second number one, it was well known that Let’s Dance was put together with radio in mind. Bowie hired Nile Rodgers as a hitmaker to get him some commercial pop. Bowie was not a fan of this part of his era – which is not surprising given what an uncompromising artist he was. At the same time, he sells himself short. Sure this was pure pop – but it was an excellent example of the form. (38 points)

“Flashdance … What a Feeling” by Irene Cara (1983) – Cara had a big hit with another dance movie title in 1980 with “Fame”. Flashdance itself was a disposable movie, but definitely a piece of 1980s time capsule material. The song is indelible – although about 40% of the time I am not sure if that is a good thing. (34 points)

“Hello” by Lionel Richie (1984) – Oh my. There is a lot to unpack here. This is a typical lousy Lionel Richie croon-fest – even if it is his most well known one. Normally, this would be good for a real toilet bowl score – but the video is pretty great. This is one of those narrative ones, where “Hello” is a tale of romance where Richie is touched by a blind love. At the end she presents him something she sculpted which is “how I see you” which looks less like Richie than 1984 vintage John Oates. Hey if it’s going to suck, might as well get a laugh. (28 points)

“Let’s Hear it for the Boy” by DeNiece Williams (1984) – The other big hit and Oscar nominated song from Footloose, this was DeNiece Williams’ biggest hit. It’s silly – in so many ways, the video, the tempo – for years I kept thinking this was a Lisa Lisa song. This song is okay enough, but has not aged well. (29 points)

“Crazy for You” by Madonna (1985) – Madonna’s 2nd number one, this was yet another movie song (Vision Quest, which features a very early Linda Fiorentino, known for Men in Black for you but probably The Last Seduction for me) Madonna would have a lot of big hits which would define cultural zeitgeist blah blah blah. We can move on now, right? (24 points)

“Don’t You (Forget About Me)” by Simple Minds (1985) – One of the metrics I have tinkered with is “Capture the 1980s” and really will any song fit the bill better than this one? It was the central song from one of the most well known and “80s” of 1980s movies (The Breakfast Club). This song’s pop historical importance is beyond consensus at this point, even if Simple Minds themselves only had a brief flicker. (42 points)

“Everything She Wants” by Wham! (1985) – Sort of the forgotten child of Wham’s three biggest hits – but it probably shouldn’t be. It’s still a good song in its own right. At the same time, I still had to remember that this happened, so there you go. (32 points)

“Addicted to Love” by Robert Palmer (1986) – Like the Simple Minds song earlier, the story of the decade cannot be written without this song. The videos clearly shape the endurance of this song, but hey – there you go. As a rock song, this has survived – and largely on merit. Palmer had a terrific rock singer voice. But then, there are the models – who are clearly there as objects – the background images for almost any memory of Palmer. (37 points)

“West End Girls” by Pet Shop Boys (1986) – The second perfect score so far, this is The Pet Shop Boys biggest US hit. This is an objectively flawless synth-new wave song which hits all the markers. The lyrics have some social consciousness for them, the song has not dated in any meaningful way. When I put this on to find the video clip, I listened to it seven more times. Like the songs at the very top of this list, this is both a great example of the 1980s, and transcendent – it’s one of the best songs of this or any other decade. (50 points)

“Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston (1986) – The last and biggest single from her debut album, this is one of the songs most indelibly etched on my elementary school childhood. I remember doing it in music class in 3rd/4th grade. Not all of Whitney’s ballads were good – most were kind of simpering. But this is an order of magnitude above it, and still works on its cheesy, intended level. (41 points)

“(I Just) Died in Your Arms” by Cutting Crew (1987) – While the Pet Shop Boys and Whitney Houston were among the most enduring acts of the decade. In fact, a lot of the higher ranked songs on this list are things which endured because of enduring artists. And then, you have this – one of the best songs of the decade for my money – but dropped in from space by a band who would not do anything else I’d remember again. The song’s importance is hard to argue – but it’s quality as a pop song isn’t. (42 points)

“With or Without You” by U2 (1987) – I’ve seen U2 twice, both on lucky breaks. While they are not my favorite band or anything – at a certain point you don’t turn the chance to see an act of that magnitude down, especially when you only had to pay face value for the tickets. They were good both times, even if they were promoting largely meh albums. And of course – even while promoting, say “Vertigo”, they were not going to leave without stuff from this vintage. This song, the first of their two #1 songs, does not need much explanation. It’s one of their signature songs, one of the best pop songs ever made, and that it unleashed Bono on the world ever since is not the song’s fault. (50 points)

“Wishing Well” by Terrence Trent D’Arby (1988) – When I listen to the weekly Top 40 on Sirius XM, when they do 1988 and this song comes up, the DJ always notes the same story, about how Terrence Trent D’Arby declared his debut as the most important album since Sgt Pepper, the sort of deluded, lofty claim that is now reserved for rappers (specifically rappers whose name rhymes with Munyay Test). While clearly that did not work out – his lone #1 remains an earworm with a hook which is hard to get out of your head. (and that is a compliment, mostly) (35 points)

“Anything for You” by Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine (1988) – As is typical, a band who produced some pretty good up-tempo, fun dance music – has its first #1 with a croony ballad. There is not much to say here – aside from hoping this turned into “The Rhythm is Gonna Get You” (31 points)

“One More Try” by George Michael (1988) – I think this ended up one of the best selling singles of the calendar year. Again, the lure of the ballad to the top of the charts. It was not the best ballad on the Faith album – “Kissing a Fool” is pretty clearly a better song both musically and vocally. It’s good by simpering ballad standards, but that is about it. (36 points)

“I’ll Be There For You” by Bon Jovi (1989) – The band’s fourth #1, and it’s least. It has not survived the way “Living on a Prayer” has, and has frankly, been drowned out by numerous other successful, better monster ballads. I will note that it seems the band’s hair looks especially well conditioned here – I am not sure if that is worth extra credit. (33 points)

“Forever Your Girl” by Paula Abdul (1989) – This is one of the songs which I like much better now than I did in 1989. I guess it was partly being inundated with her popularity – the way any popular artist on the radio starts to grate. This is probably not as well known now as “Straight Up”, but it is a catchier song with a cheekier video (kids help) – even if there is no Arsenio Hall cameo. (35 points)

So – through the Month of May – we are up to exactly 100 songs. The current scoreboard? See below, complete with a new #1.

Song Artist
1 West End Girls Pet Shop Boys
2 Kiss Prince
3 With or Without You U2
4 Beat It Michael Jackson
5 Billie Jean Michael Jackson
6 Rock With You Michael Jackson
7 Father Figure George Michael
8 Jump Van Halen
9 Livin on a Prayer Bon Jovi
10 Down Under Men At Work
11 Faith George Michael
12 How Will I Know Whitney Houston
13 Like a Virgin Madonna
14 The Tide Is High Blondie
15 Centerfold J Geils Band
16 (I Just) Died in Your Arms Cutting Crew
17 Don’t You (Forget About Me) Simple Minds
18 We Are the World USA For Africa
19 Like A Prayer Madonna
20 Greatest Love of All Whitney Houston
21 Rapture Blondie
22 Man in the Mirror Michael Jackson
23 Careless Whisper Wham featuring George Michael
24 Footloose Kenny Loggins
25 Walk Like an Egyptian Bangles
26 Karma Chameleon Culture Club
27 I Love Rock and Roll Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
28 Celebration Kool and the Gang
29 So Emotional Whitney Houston
30 Two Hearts Phil Collins
31 Need You Tonight INXS
32 Call Me Blondie
33 Let’s Dance David Bowie
34 Never Gonna Give You Up Rick Astley
35 Every Rose Has Its Thorn Poison
36 My Prerogative Bobby Brown
37 Got My Mind Set on You George Harrison
38 Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car Billy Ocean
39 Addicted to Love Robert Palmer
40 Owner of a Lonely Heart Yes
41 Forever Your Girl Paula Abdul
42 Maneater Darryl Hall and John Oates
43 Another Brick in the Wall, Part 2 Pink Floyd
44 Rock Me Amadeus Falco
45 Chariots of Fire Vangelis
46 Open Your Heart Madonna
47 One More Try George Michael
48 Wishing Well Terrence Trent D’Arby
49 The Way You Make Me Feel Michael Jackson
50 Say, Say, Say Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
51 9 to 5 Dolly Parton
52 Straight Up Paula Abdul
53 The Look Roxette
54 I Knew You Were Waiting (For Me) Aretha Franklin and George Michael
55 Flashdance … What a Feeling Irene Cara
56 That’s What Friends Are For Dionne Warwick
57 Physical Olivia Newton John
58 I Can’t Go For That Hall and Oates
59 I’ll Be There For You Bon Jovi
60 Crazy Little Thing Called Love Queen
61 Everything She Wants Wham
62 Africa Toto
63 Come on Eileen Dexy’s Midnight Runners
64 These Dreams Heart
65 Anything For You Gloria Estefan and Miami Sound Machine
66 Ebony and Ivory Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder
67 The Living Years Mike and the Mechanics
68 At This Moment Billy Vera and the Beaters
69 Bette Davis Eyes Kim Carnes
70 She Drives Me Crazy Fine Young Cannibals
71 Eternal Flame The Bangles
72 Kyrie Mr. Mister
73 Shake You Down Gregory Abbott
74 Kiss Is On My List Hall and Oates
75 Funkytown Lipps, Inc
76 Let’s Hear It for the Boy DeNiece Williams
77 Keep on Loving You REO Speedwagon
78 Hello Lionel Richie
79 I Love a Rainy Night Eddie Rabbitt
80 Lost in Your Eyes Debbie Gibson
81 Say You, Say Me Lionel Richie
82 Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now Starship
83 (Just Like) Starting Over John Lennon
84 Crazy for You Madonna
85 Seasons Change Expose
86 Can’t Fight This Feeling REO Speedwagon
87 One More Night Phil Collins
88 I Want to Know What Love Is Foreigner
89 Escape (The Pina Colada Song) Rupert Holmes
90 Sara Starship
91 Lean on Me Club Nouveau
92 Baby, Come to Me Patti Austin and James Ingram
93 Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) Phil Collins
94 Where Do Broken Hearts Go Whitney Houston
95 Could’ve Been Tiffany
96 Do That To Me One More Time Captain and Tennille
97 Jacob’s Ladder Huey Lewis and the News
98 Morning Train (Nine to Five) Sheena Easton
99 When I’m With You Sheriff
100 Please Don’t Go KC and the Sunshine Band